While some people can’t even make it on to their significant other’s Insta grid, Harry Macklowe, the 81-year-old starting forward on Team Extra, is proclaiming his love with a 42-foot-high photo of his new wife, Patricia Landeau, on the side of a New York building. There’s Facebook official and then there’s real estate official. You know it’s true when he has to hire of a team of workers to scale a skyscraper for you, Spiderman-style.
As reported in the New York Times, Macklowe, a real estate developer who built 432 Park Avenue, the tallest residential building in the world, recently emerged from a “contentious 14-week divorce” and remarried last week. To celebrate, he made the subtle gesture of installing his face and his wife’s face on the side of the adjacent Park Avenue Cube using black-and-white photos the size of a T-Rex standing on the tiny shoulders of another T-Rex. Approximately.
When asked to explain his reasoning, Macklowe told the Times, “Since I wasn’t getting married during the summer in the Hamptons, I wasn’t able to hire an airplane with a banner to go up and down the shoreline. I thought: ‘I own a building. Why don’t I just hang a banner from my own building?’” Ah, yes. Very relatable. I do so hate it when I’m not going to be married in the summer in the Hamptons and must find a substitute for hiring an airplane with a banner. Who amongst us, really?
Linda Macklowe was married to Harry for 50 years before a public split in 2016 prompted a rough-and-tumble trial to divvy up their $2 billion fortune. Once again, who amongst us hasn’t been there? In an interesting and definitely not coincidental twist, Linda was under contract to purchase an apartment in 432 Park Avenue but was permitted to exit the deal by the judge in the case. Can you imagine having the windows of your multi-million dollar apartment covered with your ex’s new spouse, blown up to the size of a brachiosaurus? You wake up every morning staring into a giant nostril like, “What even is this? Why am I so rich and yet involved in such relatable petty drama? Iyanla, fix my life!”
Fortunately, that awkward interaction was avoided. Harry’s John Cusack-in-Say Anything-style gesture stays just to the left of petty by not directly facing his ex and instead towering over the teeming streets below, greeting innocent bystanders with the sight of the most relatable and drama-free one-percenter lovebirds in all the land.